Your coworker leans in and quietly asks, “Can you lend me some money?” Your mind goes blank. In Korean workplace life, money and relationships get tangled fast, and figuring out how to say no to borrowing money in Korean without sounding cold takes more than just knowing the right words. A flat refusal can feel harsh, even rude. But saying yes when you don’t want to can hurt you later, sometimes for months. This is the moment many learners freeze. Not because they don’t know Korean vocabulary, but because they don’t know the right tone.
I’ve been asked for money by coworkers before, and my answer is almost always no, no matter how small the amount is. I don’t like the risk of lending money and then not getting it back, because that kind of situation makes both people uncomfortable. And if the amount is small, it feels strange to ask for it back later anyway, so I try to avoid that whole situation from the start. That said, it depends on how much. If it’s just coffee money, something like 10,000 to 20,000 won, I’d rather just pay for it myself and let it go. Anything above that, I’d probably say no.
“미안한데 요즘 좀 빠듯해서” — Blaming Your Own Wallet, Not Them
One common way to soften a no is 미안한데 요즘 좀 빠듯해서 (mi-an-han-de yo-jeum jom ppa-deu-tae-hae-seo — sorry, but things are tight for me these days). This points to your own situation instead of the other person’s request. It works well with coworkers you’re already friendly with. The tone is casual, so save it for peers close to your age or rank.
In my own case, I usually skip that exact line and go more direct. I just say 미안 현금이 없어서 (mi-an hyeon-geum-i eop-seo-seo — sorry, I don’t have cash), which gets straight to the point. If someone asks for a bank transfer instead of cash, I switch the excuse a little. I might say 카드값 나가서 여유돈이 없어 (ka-deu-gap na-ga-seo yeo-yu-don-i eop-seo — my card bill just went out, so I don’t have extra money), which explains why the account is empty right now without opening the door to more questions.
“나도 사정이 있어서” — Staying Vague on Purpose
A slightly more formal option is 나도 사정이 있어서 (na-do sa-jeong-i i-sseo-seo — I have my own situation too). This phrase keeps details vague on purpose. You don’t have to explain your finances at all. It works with coworkers you’re less close to, or with someone senior to you. The vagueness itself signals please don’t ask more.
When I say I have my own situation, people usually don’t press further. If you’re the one asking for money, digging into someone’s reasons for saying no feels rude to me. On the other side, if you’re the one being asked to lend, I think it’s fair to ask a little about why. But even then, prying too much crosses a line. Most people in a Korean office seem to sense that balance without anyone spelling it out.
“생각 좀 해볼게” — Buying Time Without Lying
Sometimes the safest move is to not answer right away. 생각 좀 해볼게 (saeng-gak jom hae-bol-ge — let me think about it) buys you time without committing to anything. This isn’t lying. It’s a common way to soften a decision that’s probably going to be a no anyway. Use it when you’re caught off guard and need space to reply later, maybe by text instead of face to face.
Since I usually don’t lend money in the first place, if I ever did say let me think about it, I’d actually spend that time figuring out how to decline in a way that doesn’t feel harsh, then get back to the person with an answer. I wouldn’t just leave them hanging. The other person is waiting on my reply, and it might be a genuinely urgent situation for them. Ignoring someone after saying you’ll think about it feels worse to me than just saying no up front.
“나는 원래 돈 거래는 잘 안 해” — Making It a Rule, Not a Rejection
Another approach is to explain a personal rule instead of reacting to this one situation. 나는 원래 돈 거래는 잘 안 해 (na-neun won-lae don geo-rae-neun jal an hae — I generally don’t do money exchanges) frames the no as a policy, not a personal rejection. This can feel less hurtful, because it isn’t really about the coworker at all.
This is actually the line I use myself. Most people who hear it accept it pretty easily, because they know money between coworkers isn’t like a bank loan with paperwork or a signed IOU. Without that kind of structure, an unpaid loan between coworkers turns awkward fast. A lot of people I know would rather avoid that awkwardness altogether than risk a friendship over a few won.
What Not to Say When You Decline
Avoid a blunt 안 돼 (an-dwae — no) with nothing softening it. It can sound cold even if that’s not how you mean it. Also avoid lecturing your coworker about their spending habits or money management. That crosses from declining into judging, and it can damage the relationship more than the no itself ever would.
I don’t think you need to reject someone coldly to get the point across. If a flat no is 100 percent strength, my own refusals probably land around 60 to 70 percent. That’s likely just my personality. If someone gets upset over a refusal delivered that gently, I figure that relationship wasn’t very close to begin with, and it would likely fade over time anyway, money or no money. Most of the time, I just say sorry, I don’t have cash, and leave it there. This is my personal experience. Other Koreans may see it differently.
If you want a wider look at how agreement and refusal work in Korean beyond money situations, check out how saying yes and no in Korean is rarely as simple as it looks.
Much of this softening comes from Korea’s broader system of speech levels and indirect phrasing, which linguists have documented in detail. You can read more about how Korean speech levels shape everyday politeness if you want the fuller picture.
If you remember nothing else, remember this. A soft excuse plus a small apology carries you further than a flat refusal ever will. Point to your own situation, not theirs. Keep your reasons vague if you want to avoid follow-up questions. And if you do end up borrowing or lending money with a coworker, even a small amount, settle it quickly so it doesn’t sit between you at every lunch and every hoesik afterward.
Key Expressions
- 미안한데 요즘 좀 빠듯해서 (mi-an-han-de yo-jeum jom ppa-deu-tae-seo) — Sorry, but things are tight for me these days.
Example: “미안한데 요즘 진짜 빠듯해서 못 빌려줄 것 같아.” (Sorry, I’m really tight on money these days, so I don’t think I can lend it.)
- 나도 사정이 있어서 (na-do sa-jeong-i i-sseo-seo) — I have my own situation too.
Example: “미안한데 나도 사정이 있어서 이번엔 어려울 것 같아.” (Sorry, but I have my own situation, so it’s hard this time.)
- 생각 좀 해볼게 (saeng-gak jom hae-bol-ge) — Let me think about it.
Example: “어… 생각 좀 해볼게. 내가 나중에 연락할게.” (Uh… let me think about it. I’ll get back to you later.)
- 나는 원래 돈 거래는 잘 안 해 (na-neun won-lae don geo-rae-neun jal an hae) — I generally don’t do money exchanges.
Example: “나는 원래 친한 사이여도 돈 거래는 잘 안 하는 편이야.” (I generally don’t do money exchanges, even with close people.)
- 미안, 나도 여유가 없어 (mi-an, na-do yeo-yu-ga eop-seo) — Sorry, I don’t have extra room either.
Example: “미안, 나도 요즘 여유가 별로 없어.” (Sorry, I don’t really have extra money right now either.)
Written by a native Korean speaker born in Seoul in 1985. This is my personal experience. Other Koreans may see things differently.
